Fresh From The US of A

When Barack Obama was performing his speech after being elected as president, he had to do it behind three inch thick bullet-proof glass.
I thought that was a bit harsh - just because he's black doesn't mean he's going to shoot anyone.

Black people all over the world celebrated Obama's victory long into the night on Tuesday.
It was okay for them but the rest of us had jobs to go to in the morning!

News just in from America. Despite the recession sales in sheets and scissors have jumped up by 75 percent this week.

When George Bush was president, people said that a monkey could do a better job. Well, we're about to find out!
The votes have been counted; Robert Mugabe is now the president of America.

News from the White House.....George Bush's wallet has gone missing already.

Finally America has come to terms with its past and elected a black President. A spokesman for the new administration was quoted as saying, "He's made his owners very proud."

Barack Obama has said he will give America change. I can believe that, after all a Black man gave me change this morning...
From my sausage and egg McMuffin.

Barack Obama has broken a long tradition by being the first black man to enter the White House without a mop and bucket.

On television yesterday a Democratic operative pointed out that when Obama holds a rally 25-30,000 people show up, whereas when McCain holds one he only draws 10-15,000.
The Republican spokesman replied, "That's because McCain's supporters are at work."

The black President of the USA shaking hands the with new British Prime Minister, Mohammed Patel.
Carlsberg don't do nightmares.....

President Obama has ordered that there should be more programmes with black content on American T.V. The BBC are going to sell them Crimewatch.

A gardener in the White House was sacked today.
He asked when the new spade was coming.