Dear Abby... again

Dear Abby, Our son was married in January. Five months later his wife had a ten-pound baby girl. They said the baby was premature. Tell me, can a baby this big be that early? (signed, Wondering)
Dear Wondering, The baby was on time, the wedding was late. Forget it.

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Dear Abby, I have always wanted to have my family history traced, but I can't afford to spend a lot of money to do it. Any suggestions? (signed Sam)
Dear Sam, Yes. Run for public office.

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Dear Abby, What inspires you most to write? (signed Ted)
Dear Ted, The Bureau of Internal Revenue.

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Dear Abby, I am forty-four years old and I would like to meet a man my age with no bad habits. (signed, Rose)
Dear Rose, So would I.

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Dear Abby, What's the difference between a wife and a mistress? (signed, Bess)
Dear Bess, Night and day.

Obama might do better writing to Abby